It was a beautiful sunny afternoon as 13 brocks stood opposite 27 Orpington players rigorously warming up, we thought "won't this be easy"...  Tragedy struck as Orpington couldn't find a ref but we saved the day by lending one of our "spare" players.

Kick off was taken by a guest fly half who then made an exit after damaging his vagina.  Brockleians then made a flying start which ended on a knock on by Orpington, scrum down time! Bind up prep for engage and wait for the ref... and wait.. and wait.. and "ENGAGE".  After recovering the ball Orpington put up an impressive kick but never fear we had "Hands McGee" positioned under the ball (an Orpington player who wouldn't develop his handling skills until the 2nd half when he put his yellow top back on) one try to Orpington.

The first quarter followed in much the same way as brocks struggled to find their form but as we entered into the 2nd of 4 quarters Brocks started to play some decent rugby after a few strong phases Hooker Chris Bristow took on the ball and stepped 3 defenders before drawing the last and passing it off to some dribbling oaf who stole the credit, Jon Bristow also made a move down the wing screaming "Pass the ball Holty" but then he was distracted by the ice cream truck making a move into the car park.

Under treat of being dropped from the 1st XV I have been forced to add that Ian Bender converted this try and additionally may have solved world peace and we have to thank him every time the sun rises (I'm assuming it comes from his arse).

As 3rd quarter came round we managed to field 15 Brocks and we got off to a flying start as we forced a scrum in their half. Ian Bender managed to catch the ball as it flew out the back of a scrum (in a manner that only reminds me of the morning after a vindaloo or maybe even post game food at the Bunker), he then popped it off to James Huxted who then sidestepped round 1 player but then got bored of going around the opposition so instead went through 2 of them and setting up a maul which resulted in a try scored by both Marc Huxted and Chris Bristow (a debate yet to be settled and probably never will).

4th quarter came and went without anything of note occurring, Orpington definitely did not score lots of points (honest).  El Capitan jumped ship to go play gay sticks, and the game finished early as Brocks was asked to scrum down only to find their hooker lying on the floor wheezing (or maybe just whining).

Well done to everyone that played, Captain Ian Bender would like to add a special mention to the forwards who collectively played very well and overall not a bad 1st game. The game was played in good spirits and unfortunately the bar was missing those so we shot to Greenwich so we could watch Fletch go into a booze induced coma.

Points earned

A.Holt                   5              M.Huxted           5              I.Bender              2